Have you ever been told that if you are a good Christian at work for a long enough period of time, then some of your co-workers will eventually come and ask you, “What is so special about you?”
This evangelism scenario continues to say that you’re supposed to respond by telling them that the reason you’re different is because of Jesus.
So after they hear that, they respond by telling you that they want Jesus too.
So you explain the gospel to them, they get on their knees, and they repent right in the middle of your office.
Halleullejah…Praise the Lord! Right?
Or…reality check…
This scenario has either never happened to most of us or at least, it has happened to very few of us Christians.
While this scenario does happen every once in a while, it’s not the most effective approach to evangelism.
Check Out This Brief Story
“Well hello bro, it’s good to finally see you,” Sophie said as she got up from the coffee table to give her big brother James a hug.
They had agreed to meet during their lunch for some coffee at Starbucks.
It had been a while since they connected so they decided to have lunch and coffee at the same time.
“I don’t have much time sis,” Said James.
“I need to get back to the office early because I want to make a good impression. It’s only been 3 weeks since I started this new job you know.”
James was the new accounts person at the Wells Fargo branch down the street.
He was nervous about his new job because he had been unemployed for the past 10 months since he got laid off from his last job at Fidelity Investments.
“So tell me about this new job,” Sophie asked while taking a slurp of her caramel Frappuccino.
“Well, it definitely doesn’t pay as good as Fidelity but hey, I’m not complaining. It’s a nice gig, I open up new accounts for clients.
The only thing is that our branch is in the snooty part of town so our clients are pretty stuck up. They’re well off and they act like they own the world.
“Not only that, but my co-workers are pretty atrocious too. They think that just because they serve all those rich people that they are special too. Not to mention that almost all of them cuss up a storm. It’s really hard being a Christian in that type of environment.”
“Well, that’s great then,” Sophie said enthusiastically. “Maybe God put you there to be a light in a dark place. You should tell them about Jesus every chance that you get.”
“Oh no, that’s not my style lil’ sis. Those people are in no way open to the gospel, they are as heathenistic as they come. I mean, you should hear some of the stories the guys tell me after they come back from the weekend.
“They drink hard, party hard, sleep around, and trust me, the last thing they are looking for is Jesus.
“Plus, you know what they say, ‘Preach the gospel and when necessary, use words.’ I’m going to let my light shine and when people see that I’m different and they ask me why that is, that’s when there will be an open door and that’s my time to share with them about God.”
Sophie was much more bold about her faith than her big brother. She decided to not press the issue any further and that she would bring up the topic of evangelism at another time.
So What’s the Point?
I found a video to sum up my point perfectly. Check it out and let me know what you think.
The point here isn’t that we shouldn’t be friends with people, it’s that we shouldn’t wait for the perfect opportunity to present itself so that we can share with them the gospel. No one is promised tomorrow and today is the day of salvation.
Friendship evangelism waits for the perfect opportunity to share the gospel, but compassion for the lost causes us to open our mouth and cease every moment to share the love of God.
Comments 24
The concept of Friendship Evangelism is far superior than the traditional shove-it-down-his-throat sort of evangelism.
I don’t agree with the shove it down your throat evangelism style either Caleb. The point that I’m getting at is that we need to actually ask questions that engage others in conversations about eternity and then leading them down the road where we actually share with them the gospel.
I’ll be sharing a step-by-step example of how to do that over the next few weeks.
The concept of Friendship Evangelism is about first scratching where it itches before giving them the eternal-life-giving-food. We need to sugarcoat as Jesus did in His ministry. It is no way related to “silent-witness” as is incorrectly being portrayed in the video. You won’t find true friends who are silent about your sin.
That’s right Caleb, I like how you put it when you wrote, “You won’t find true friends who are silent about your sin.” So true!
May I please ask you what you meant when you wrote, “We need to sugarcoat as Jesus did in His ministry”?
Jesus healed and fed people and then said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you seek Me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate of the loaves and were filled. Do not work for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you, for on Him the Father, God, has set His seal.”
Oh I see Caleb, okay, thank you for the clarification 🙂
I think the “silent witness” is not a viable option, but I also know there has to be a happy medium, our Pastor frequently says “people just need a drink of water, and we want to blast them with a fire hose.” We don’t have to give chapter and verse, but we should be able to verbalize why we are who we are. Great video.
Thank you for your feedback Page, I like the way that you put that because it’s very well-balanced. Good advice 🙂
Thank you for that insight Chris, I totally agree with you. I know for myself that there have been times in the past where I was fearful of bringing up conversations with people about God and about eternity because I was afraid of what they were going to think of me. I wanted to be liked by people and there was a fear of rejection.
However over the years, I found that that fear really is unfounded. There have been so many times when I’ve been able to share with others about God and I still was able to maintain their friendship and everything was fine afterwards. So as you put it, the important thing is that it leads to a conversation.
Thanks also for the link, I’m going to be checking it out. God bless you Chris 🙂
Peter
It is very rare when my friends get offended with me when I talk about Jesus. I talk about what I’m learning from Scripture, topics of small group conversation, how God is leading me in decisions, prayer, how I find peace instead of worry etc.
Essentially, my faith is part of who I am, just a I’m a dad, husband, writer, trainer, missionary, etc.
As I talk about my faith, there is plenty to cause curiosity, which really does move into genuine gospel centered conversations.
That’s awesome Chris, it sounds to me like many seeds are being planted 🙂
Awesome Yes to be bold and confront our fears of speaking about Jesus… We need to remember that when we speak about Jesus the Holy Spirit is the one that will provide the words and we can rely on Him through what we read in Scriptures to be a witness about what Jesus did in our lives. Be Bold and the next time you are in a restaurant ask the waiter / waitress something like this: If there was one specific thing in your life I could pray for during the time that I will give grace for the food what would that be? This will be a memory that neither the waiter / waitress or you will ever forget… Ask God to give you the opportunity and Try it, I promise it will be special !!!
That’s a great idea Mirv! You are the second person that I meet that actually does this. I have a friend of mine who I was having lunch with on Monday and he did that and the waiter was totally surprised.
You’re right, it’s such a powerful witnessing tool! Thank you for sharing that with the Not Ashamed of the Gospel community, you are such a blessing 🙂
Mirv, that’s certainly a fine idea to pray for your waitress, but how exactly is that different than friendship evangelism? And, while the memory may last, was the Gospel “preached” or understood?
Peter, as an argument this is pretty much a straw man. Jesus was a friend of sinners, right? I’m not sure how this really debunks friendship evangelism because in the scenario given this brother doesn’t seem at all interested in being a friend to his co-workers. Friendship in and of itself is not sharing the Gospel but friendship opens doors and builds relationship and trust that does lead to the Gospel being shared. It does not require we wait for years and say nothing because being a friend, like Jesus was, takes intentionality. Jesus went to where the lost were. This friendship building task is instrumental in cross-cultural missionary work, and based on where our culture is at today it may be time to think like a cross-cultural missionary, even in our workplace. There are also some issues with the video, especially taking Roman 3:23 and Jesus comments about being good out of context. By the way, I like the design of your blog. Shalom.
Thank you Brian for your comment. I respectfully disagree with your position that we are to be friends with people for years without saying nothing. That is specifically the part of friendship evangelism that is to be debunked.
Time is running out and no one is promised tomorrow. We do see that Jesus was the friend of sinners which I am for, but also, we see Jesus opening His mouth and talking to people about eternity. That’s the part of friendship evangelism that doesn’t happen. We need to open our mouths when it comes to our friendships sooner rather than later and we can’t just wait for the perfect opportunity to present itself. The perfect opportunity is every single day that you are friends with that person.
Hi Brian, I think I misunderstood one sentence out of your comment regarding intentionality. I thought that you are saying that it’s okay to wait for years and say nothing about God to a friend but after I reread your comment, you’re saying just the opposite. I apologize for misunderstanding.
I added a few sentences to the end of the blog to clarify my point. It’s not that I don’t believe in becoming friends with people, it’s that friendship evangelism says that we should wait for that perfect opportunity to spread the gospel, but it’s that a real friend doesn’t wait and brings up the things of God sooner rather than later.
I’m going to go ahead and delete my comment below in which I thought that you are saying the opposite. Thanks Brian
Thanks, Peter, for you correction. While we agree on the need of intentionality, I think even in your additional edits, you are using only one definition of Friendship Evangelism to knock down your straw man. There are at least a few views of Friendship Evangelism and the need for friendship in evangelism is more important today than ever. So when we set up a straw man just to knock him down, because we see weakness in one approach, we do a disservice to the vital task of evangelism.
While “today is the day of salvation,” (2 Cor 6:2) Paul is not speaking of a 24 hour day but of the time that has come in Christ for salvation of the “nations.” Paul goes on to say, “We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path” (v 3). Friendship removes those stumbling block, which could very well be our over-zealousness to present a “plan of salvation.” Salvation is not what we say, but what the Lord does in a person’s life. There is no prescription is scripture to rush in with a “Gospel presentation.” But we should be ready to always to give an answer for the hope we have in Christ. Shalom.
I believe that being ready to give an answer for the hope that is within us is only for incoming questions. That means that we are waiting for other people to start the conversation. However, I do think that there is a sense of urgency that lacks in friendship evangelism. Yes let’s be friends but no, let’s not wait for months and years to pass by without ever bringing up the subject of the gospel and of eternity.
When we read the writings of classic preachers like Spurgeon, Wesley, and Whitefield, we see how they approached evangelism from an urgent perspective. They were so motivated to preach the gospel that they preached it wherever they went and they did it after being friends with someone for just a few minutes.
This is the kind of urgency that we need to have. The point of this article is to get people to get Christians to open up their mouse and start having conversations.
Mathew 4:17 , “From that time Jesus began to preach and to say, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.’” Everywhere that our Lord went He preached this message whether to strangers or to His sinner friends. He didn’t wait until he became their friend and their confidant, He preached to everyone because He saw the urgency.
We see Paul doing the same thing in the book of acts a as well as Peter and the apostles.
The Body of Christ has lost her sense of eternity, that is why there is no sense of urgency!
Years ago I discovered that there is a difference between having an on-fire relationship with the Lord and just giving Jesus good lip service! Matthew 15:8 says; These people draw near to Me with their mouth, And
honor Me with their lips, But their heart is far from Me.
Many in the church today have a heart to share the gospel but allow fear to enter in when they are given the opportunity! They just don’t know how people are going to react if they want to share their faith. We try to find ways to get the message out there. We even get creative! We make up our own tracks and secretly tuck them into the guest check, in hopes that our wait staff will see it and read it and perhaps get saved. I know, I did this, until I discovered that there is NO SUBSTITUTE FOR SHARING THE GOSPEL!
But when we begin to understand the greatest gift, that we have to share with others is the gift of eternal life, we can no longer make excuses for not sharing. The bible tells us freely you have received, now freely give! But yet we hold back, were afraid of what others will say! After all, we don’t want to be known as the radical nut for Jesus, now, do we?
The Lord hears the cry of our hearts and he will move heaven and earth to see even one soul saved! I already had a desire to witness to others! It was on that day in 2007 while listening to a man of God preach that something clicked inside of me, something ignited my fire for SOULS! His message was about the end time
harvest! I call it my “Mary Elizabeth moment”! When you connect with a ministry that is producing the fruit of the harvest and they are on fire for God you will sit up and take notice.
Many in the church world today are busy with their own church growth agendas! Everything from branding themselves, writing their own books, and adopting any church growth method that they think will grow their church. However, when the method of preaching the gospel openly, sharing your faith with others is presented to them as the answer, they will make every excuse not to participate. Many I have found don’t want to “rock their boat”. Here within lies the problem, they are afraid if they require anything of their members that they will get offended! They will end up leaving to find another luke warm church to lull them to sleep & tickle their ears. Everything from entertainment to free coffee and a donuts is used to lure them in! The sad thing is once we get them there we forget the reason they are there in the first place. There is no message of the gospel preached so they all go home entertained with a free coffee mug and an invitation to join us again next Sunday! Really???
I don’t apologize for what God birthed in my heart that day back in 2007! I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. There are many churches that do not want it and show me to their door! That’s OK, because I am not here to please man, I’m here to do the will of my Father. I’ll kick the dust off my feet & move on, knowing that I brought the answer but they refused to hear. I have had the opportunity to talk to many people as I travel stopping at rest stops, new restaurants, hotels and even in my own backyard. I have lead thousands of people to the Lord just by being obedient by stopping & sharing the love of Jesus Christ as I go about my day! I am not here to receive the accolades of men! Nor do I desire for anyone to put me on a pedestal. I have found the living water, Jesus Christ, and I will give a drink to all those who are thirsty! My only desire is that I
can share the love of Jesus Christ with others, those that perishing without a Savior! The harvest is ripe and unfortunately there aren’t many laborers. I have trained up as many that are willing to be trained and they too are now out there sharing the good news.
I learned from this ministry their secret, which really is no secret! They preach the gospel openly and share with others using a tool called “the gospel soul winning script”! It’s the gospel, so it does what its intended to do, bring a sinner to repentance and give them an opportunity to receive Jesus Christ!
Here is the link for anybody that is interested in sharing their faith with others! http://www.revival.com/soulwinning-tools.24.1.html
If we truly want to win souls to Jesus Christ, we must be willing to get out of our comfort zones and share! Although there are many methods, there is only ONE MESSAGE that will bring men to repentance and that is the gospel of Jesus Christ!
The Body of Christ has lost her sense of eternity, therefore there is no sense of urgency for saving souls!
Years ago I discovered that there is a difference between having an on-fire relationship with the Lord and just giving Jesus good lip service! Matthew 15:8 says; These people draw near to Me with their mouth, And
honor Me with their lips, But their heart is far from Me.
Many in the church today have a heart to share the gospel but allow fear to enter in when they are given the opportunity! They just don’t know how people are going to react if they want to share their faith. We try to find ways to get the message out there. We even get creative and make up our own tracks and secretly tuck them into the guest check, in hopes that our wait staff will see it and read it and perhaps get saved. I know, I did this, until I discovered that there is NO SUBSTITUTE FOR SHARING THE GOSPEL!
But when we begin to understand the greatest gift, that we have to share with others is the gift of eternal life, we can no longer make excuses for not sharing. The bible tells us freely you have received, now freely give! But yet we hold back, were afraid of what others will say! After all we don’t want to be known as the radical nut for Jesus, now, do we?
The Lord hears the cry of our hearts and he will move heaven and earth to see even one soul saved! I already had a desire to witness to others! It was on that day in 2007 while listening to a man of God preach that something clicked inside of me, something ignited my fire for SOULS! His message was about the end time
harvest! I call it my “Mary Elizabeth moment”! When you connect with a ministry that is producing the fruit of the harvest and they are on fire for God you will sit up and take notice.
Many in the church world today are busy with their own church growth agendas! Everything from rebranding themselves, writing their own books, and adopting any church growth method that they think will grow their church. However, when the method of preaching the gospel openly, sharing your faith with
others is presented to them as the answer, they will make every excuse not to participate. Many I have found don’t want to “rock their boat”. Here within lies the problem, they are afraid if they require anything of their members that they will get offended! They will end up leaving to find another luke warm church to lull them to sleep & tickle their ears. Everything from entertainment to free coffee and a donuts is used to lure them in! The sad thing is once we get them there we forget the reason they are there in the first place. There is no
message of the gospel preached so they all go home entertained with a free coffee mug and an invitation to join us again next Sunday! Really???
I don’t apologize for what God birthed in my heart that day back in 2007! I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. There are many churches that do not want it and show me to their door! That’s ok, because I am not here to please man, I’m here to do the will of my Father. I’ll kick the dust off my feet & move
on, knowing that I brought the answer but they refuse to hear. I have had the opportunity to talk to many people as I travel stopping at rest stops, new restaurants, hotels and even in my own backyard. I have lead thousands to the Lord just by being obedient by stopping & sharing the love of Jesus Christ! I am not here to receive the accolades of men! Nor do I desire for anyone to put me on a pedestal. I have found the living water, Jesus Christ, and I will give a drink to all those who are thirsty! My only desire is that I can share the love of Jesus Christ with others, those that perishing without a
Savior! The harvest is ripe and unfortunately there aren’t many laborers. I have trained up as many that are willing to be trained and they too are now out there sharing the good news.
I learned from this ministry their secret, which really is no secret at all! They preach the gospel openly and share with others using a tool called “the gospel soul winning script”! It’s the gospel, so it does what its intended to to do, bring a sinner to repentance and give them an opportunity to receive Jesus Christ! Here is the link for anybody that is interested in sharing their faith with others! http://www.revival.com/soulwinning-tools.24.1.html
If we truly want to win souls to Jesus Christ, we must be willing to get out of our comfort zones and share! Although there are many methods, there is only one message and that is the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ!
Pingback: Do you Know the Solution to the Problem of Friendship Evangelism?
I really like to use this “Are you a good person? ” aproach that Ray Comfort’s ministry is teaching.
You can find many diffrent language translations of this comic cartoon on the webpage I wrote as “my webpage”.
Author
Awesome, thank you very much for that valuable feedback Robert! It’s very helpful. God bless you 🙂